by David Ho

It rarely happens, but every once in a while, someone will ask me if I'm really an anime fan, or if I just say I'm one for good PR. I can understand why. After all, selling TV shows to networks is sort of like selling shoes. (You have to convince them this expensive thing fits even though they've only tried it on for a few seconds.) And how much do we trust shoe salesmen? About as far as we can throw them? Not even that much!
I can't provide any tangible proof (this being cyberspace and all), but I'll offer these stories of "common experiences" which, I believe, only true anime fans could possibly tell. This set of common experiences binds us together as a culture of people. It's these experiences which allows us to accept each other at face value when we meet for the first time. It's these experiences which shape our lives and motivate our futures! Certainly, we should not be ashamed of ourselves as others may be ashamed of us!! Nay! We should take pride in who we are, seek to understand and pity the other misguided cultures of the world, and take our rightful place as rulers of the universe!!

Common Experiences:
1. "Ani-what?!"

As hard as you try to explain to your "normal" (i.e. unholy) friends what anime is, they just don't get it! "You actually like this stuff?! You can't even understand what they're saying!" one of them will exclaim. "Aren't you getting too old for cartoons?" another will ask. And, pitifully but inevitably, "Oh! I remember that! Isn't that SPEED RACER?" By now, pure rage coursing through your veins, you'd love to throttle these ignorant, sorry excuses for human beings, but in your magnanimity, you spare them their lives and quietly gnash your teeth. Your only consolation: You know they will pay for their sins in Hell by being forced to watch reruns of SMURFS for eternity!


2. The Disappointment of ROBOTECH

Where were you when you first found out that ROBOTECH was a hack job? I remember very clearly. It was in the Spring of 1985. I was sitting in a bright, hot, stuffy room with a Japanese friend of mine who came to America as an exchange student. His room was piled high with old, yellowing issues of JUMP. As I was flipping through some of his old ANIMEDIA magazines, I discovered a spread on MACROSS: DO YOU REMEMBER LOVE? I told him about ROBOTECH. That's when he told me that the show I raced home for every afternoon after school was a mishmash of three, separate, unrelated shows! At first, I disbelieved him. But he proved it to me by digging out one old issue of ANIMEDIA after another and translating the Japanese next to the pictures. I felt betrayed. I was hurt, confused and shocked - all at the same time! In fact the only other event I remember more clearly is where I was when the space shuttle Challenger exploded. That was a sad, sad day. I did a lot of growing up that day - when I found out the truth about ROBOTECH, that is!


3. Learn Japanese

Even if you had access to subtitles, like today, you still had a burning desire to learn Japanese so you could understand without having to keep looking down at the bottom of the screen for the translation. After all, that's the way anime was intended to be experienced: in its original Japanese glory! Anything less would be sacrilege! In pursuit of Japanese literacy, we would memorize our charts of hiragana and katakana anywhere we could find time! On the bus, in the park, right before a final exam, waiting in line for rides at Disneyland, in court, in the restroom, in our sleep - it didn't matter where! We actually read textbooks with zeal! We looked forward to taking language classes to learn Japanese. Ask anyone who's tried to learn Japanese if he knows what evil sounds like. Of course he knows! They're called "dubs".


4. Draw-your-own-manga

Collecting anime and manga gets to be expensive! Why not just make your own? That's how I felt in high school and that's how I still feel today! I never took any formal lessons in art when I was in high school or college. Some people say that was a good thing, because if I had, I would have had all that beautiful art style beaten out of me. After 10 years of on and off practice, I'm still far from good, but some of my stuff looks nice. Here, have a look for yourself. (continued)

Illustration by David Ho.