(continued)

5. Merchandise Envy

We've all had a "friend" who seemed to get everything just as soon as it came out in Japan. Oooooooo, didn't you just envy all the cool stuff he had? What made it worse is that he knew he had all the stuff you wanted, so he'd gloat and gloat about it! If you weren't there when his latest FedEx shipment arrived, he'd call you up just to brag! Yeah, and he thought he was so hot, 'cuz he knew everything about all the new stuff that was coming out and you'd just sit there in a dumb stupor listening to him spout off. But you got the last laugh! You were only pretending to be his friend. You were secretly saving up all your money for a trip to Japan! You'd wait until the day before you left to tell him, and when you finally did tell him just hours before your flight, he'd grab your leg at the airport, frantically begging you to bring back this big list of stuff for him, which, of course, you said was impossible because they only let you have two pieces of baggage and you'd need both of them for all of your stuff. Then, you'd get on the plane with a huge, stupid grin on your face and be happy for the whole trip!

6. Marathon Anime Nights

Sounded like a great idea when you first came up with it: "I know! Let's watch all the anime we own this Friday night straight-through, back-to-back!" you'd gleefully suggest to your unsuspecting friends. "All right!!!" your friends would shout back.

(Fast-forward to Friday night...)

One of your friends brings a suitcase full of loose tapes labeled only in Japanese. Another one of your friends, not wanting to be outdone by anyone else, shows up with the entire MAISON IKKOKU LD box set! (Ack!) Yet another suggests that "if we have time" he's brought along all the old American GATCHAMAN recorded on tape.

(60 hours later...)

"Oh look! The sun is coming up......again!" "What day is it? Monday? Oh my God! I'll be late for class!" "Listen...do you hear loons? I can hear the loons..." "Aaaaaaaaah!!!! Somebody get me a doctor! My eyes are square!!! My eyes are square!!!"


7. Anime Karaoke

Nothing brings a tear more easily to my eye than to hear a group of hard-core anime fans belting out the lyrics of "Konya wa Hurricane" from BGC #1. The energy! The passion! The total, unabashed feeling of freedom and abandonment! Surely, this is what it must be to achieve the very pinnacle of anime fandom! I must admit that I, myself, have never made it to this level. However, I do whistle obscure melodies from anime, and I have been known to sing (very quietly) along with the opening of NADIA.


8. Fall in Love with mere Cel and Paint

When you've fallen for a cute guy or girl in an anime series and the show finally ends, it's almost as if s/he died: "Why did it have to end so soon!!??" "I'll never see any more of him/her ever again!" "It was such a good show...what a waste...life just isn't fair!!!" After a couple of weeks of moping and admonishments from your callous "normal" friends (i.e. "Sheesh! It's just a cartoon!"), you finally accept the fact that the show is over and that you've seen all the OVAs, movies and specials ever made. But your undying love and devotion won't let you rest! So you take upon yourself a new mission: you decide to set up a shrine on the Internet! It is an inspiring message to all true fans that, as long as you believe with all your heart, anime will never be "just a cartoon".

Convinced?