Eat-Man '98

—by Michael Poirier

I'm sorry, but an anime about a man who chews metal then shoots it from its hands simply can not be forgiven for taking itself too seriously. Overblown and melodramatic, EAT-MAN '98 is about as difficult to swallow as the metal bolts its hero consumes.
Bolt Crank is a mercenary with the strange ability to eat metal and reconstitute it through his hand. He has wandered into a futuristic city where research scientists are being murdered off one by one. For some inexplicable reason, Crank is the prime suspect and his old acquaintance Detective Aimie is dispatched to bring him in.
Everything I found lackluster about EAT-MAN '98 can be characterized by this scene between Bolt and Aimie:

AIMIE: You can't kill me. No one can kill me.

BOLT: You better arrest me then. Before I kill somebody else.

Keep in mind that this entire scene takes a full minute as the characters just stare at each other with Bolt holding a sword and Aimie sipping her drink. There's no insight into their pasts, no explanations. I'm not simply being impatient because the show has given me no reason to care about these characters. This is not dramatic tension; it's just waiting for something, anything, to happen.
Furthermore, the animation is lifeless and very limited. These two are just looking at each other vacantly, as Bolt's glasses glow for the umpteenth time. Uninteresting characters, incomprehensible plot and a painful lack of action made watching this scene tedious.
I simply gave up trying to count how many times I had to see a) Aimie standing motionless in the shower, b) the police chief blow smoke from his cigar and c) Bolt eat another, well, bolt. It's as if the animators really only had budgeted for half a show and tried to fill the rest with the same staid scenes.
Granted, the show does try to pick up the pace much later. Of course, it does this by turning a young girl into a horned purple monster that screams from the rooftops as lightning flashes in the background. Bolt barely even tries to save or stop her, he just pushes some metal into a police vehicle. Big deal. And the final plot twist was about as surprising as finding out that there is water at the bottom of the ocean.
The music for this anime is a freak show as well. In my opinion, gypsy violins, classical guitar and schoolboy choirs simply do not mix well. The sound Bolt makes as he chomps steel is at least appropriately grotesque, but I don't recommend viewing EAT-MAN '98 until an hour after eating.
As a matter of fact, I don't recommend viewing EAT-MAN '98 at all. Between the mediocre animation, lackluster soundtrack and uninspired writing, EAT-MAN '98 was about as compelling to me as actually dining on a mouthful of scrap iron.

Released in N. America by AnimeVillage.com
VHS, 60 minutes
English Subbed: ISBN 1-58354-208-6 $24.98
Available now in the USA
Where to buy