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...continued from previous page
For my next question, I asked, "So why did you choose Japan instead
of the U.S. to plant your ideas? Certainly,
you must know that the U.S. has many
more people and it is, to date, the only super power left in the
world."
Said the alien, "What you say, earthling, is true, but because
Americans are stupid and narrow-minded, we cannot get them to do our bidding
effectively. Therefore, we are starting in Japan."
"Starting what?" I asked.
"The conquest of your planet, of course," replied the
alien.
When I heard this, I was shocked beyond shock!
"How will you conquer the earth through anime?" I asked, in
disbelief.
Said the alien, "We are first accustomizing you to the notion of
supernatural powers and the existence of alien beings through the stories of
anime. Next, we are slowly transforming your ideal of beauty so that our
physical appearance will appeal to you. When we reveal ourselves, we will
appear so beautiful that you will consider us gods descended from heaven.
And since anime will be irresistible to you earthlings, we expect the number
of anime fans to increase until soon, everyone on your planet is an anime
fan and worships anime."
"Why, you devious alien thugs!" I proclaimed.
"Silence, earthling!" the alien commanded, and then zapped me
with another bolt of electricity. "And when everyone on your planet is
an anime fan, we will reveal ourselves and the citizenry will worship us!
Then, we will announce to your world governments that we are the real
creators of anime and to surrender to us, or we will threaten to stop the
production of it!"
After I heard this, my mind was swimming with emotion that I became dizzy
and fainted...
When I regained consciousness, I discovered that I had been returned to
the exact same spot from which I had left. I checked my watch and noticed
that no time had passed and my hand was still grabbing the car door handle.
I could feel a lingering tingling sensation all over my body.
My memories of my abduction apparently were suppressed, since I only
started remembering these events with the turn of the millenium. (Perhaps
the alien's brainwashing contained a Y2K bug.) I also remembered that since
1991, the aliens have planted the idea in my brain to create anime-like
animation here in the U.S. And so I formed RIAP to unknowingly do their
bidding.
You don't believe me? Well, then consider this: Isn't it eerie, don't you
think, that "RIAP" is also the name for a group of scientists
calling themselves the "Research Institute on Anomalous Phenomena"
who are in search of UFOs and extra-terrestrial life?
According to their web
site, they were first formed in 1992, the same year in which I formed
RIAP? Were they researching the aliens
that abducted me? Do they know of the connection to anime? Or was it mere
coincidence? You be the judge.
So, now I have revealed to you the great Anime Conspiracy. With this
knowledge, you have become just like me. From now on, you will have to run
for the rest of your life. Running from the clean men who will say
you are insane. Running from the anime fan sitting next to you wondering if
he's an alien or a normal human. Wondering, always wondering, if it is the
truth or just an uncanny coincidence. 
David Ho runs the real RIAP, an American animation company that
takes its primary influence from anime. To learn more, visit
http://www.riap.com.
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