When Anime will be Cool

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The similarities are shocking! Here we have discovered two pastimes in which the participants are nearly identical. Both groups are driven, single-minded and fanatic; but in one case, Extreme Sports, the participants are considered "cool," while in the other case, anime, the fans are considered "un-cool." We can tell immediately from the great similarities that the root of the problem must be in "image" and not with the fundamental make-up of the members themselves since it has been shown that they are the same!
Now that we know Extreme Sports and anime are virtually the same, what can we learn from Extreme Sports and apply it to anime to help change the loser anime-fan image? Again, using the tremendous horsepower derived from hamsters running on a wheel in my brain, here is what I suggest.

Cash rewards for extreme otaku behavior!

Think of it! Extreme Sports athletes start off doing their sport just for the fun of it. But when their behavior becomes really loony and dangerous, they get paid to be extreme. The only thing that happens when anime fans become extreme in their behavior is that they go broke trying to complete their gargantuan collection of tapes, toys, stationery, etc. Flat broke and living with your parents, the rest of society just can't look up to you as an inspiration for their youth. Just think what will happen if we reward this behavior with real moolah? Why, it will inspire the crazed otaku in all of us! Just knowing that there's a real pot of gold at the end of that anime rainbow will drive a lot more of us to take our collections really seriously. For example, say an American distribution company has the license for AnimeX and is selling the videotapes, T-shirts, etc. Suppose this distribution company offers $10,000 to the anime fan that can prove he or she has the largest collection of AnimeX merchandise ever. I think such an offer might inspire more than a few fans to collect everything within line of sight! After all, they were going to buy everything anyway. Only now, life finally has a purpose.

Extreme Anime competitions!

Extreme Sports athletes compete for fame and fortune, so why not anime fans? The difficulty with this plan is to determine what kinds of contests will be most appropriate and exciting for spectators because anime watching and collecting are more fun when you're doing it instead of watching someone else. But I can think of two excellent examples: 1. Who wants to be an anime millionaire? And 2. Web cam anime home theater.
"Who wants to be an anime millionaire?" works just like the show that started it all (the one with Regis Philbin for those hardcores who are boycotting American TV). If someone can ever set it up with the lights, music and congenial but smug host, I think it will be terribly fun to watch! Just think of it! All the questions will be anime questions. All the answers will be visible to everyone watching. And of course, you still get the same lifelines—50:50, phone an anime friend, and ask the anime audience. The hard part will be finding someone willing to put up the 1 million dollars. Perhaps it might be possible to find someone willing to put up $32,000. In that case, to ensure that the contestant never wins beyond $32,000, the rest of the questions should come from children's educational television shows like BLUE'S CLUES or BANANAS IN PAJAMAS which no anime fan will be caught dead watching.